Michelle's Thoughts

As I reflect back on today’s experiences of bargaining at the straw market and repeatedly hearing “Cheapy, cheapy for you my mission friend” and “Fifty percent off JUST for you!” and constantly saying, “Yo no quiero” and “No, gracias,” of passing out tracts of God’s love in exchange for fliers for body piercings and Watchtower tracts, of eating American food (Gracious, Dios, for KFC!), of seeing the first church built in the Western hemisphere where part of the Amazing Race was filmed, and, finally, of seeing first-hand extreme destitution and poverty, many emotions flood my mind. I am numb. The sights that I have seen are incomprehensible. I cannot even begin to process the magnamity of the spiritual and physical destitution of these Dominicans.

The stench and heat of the city followed me up the staircase into the government-funded orphanage. I walked from crib to crib touching each extremely handicapped orphan knowing that they were excited because the Americans had come! I was overwhelmed when I realized that I was not there for them, God placed each one there for me. I Corinthians 1:27-31 says that God uses the despised things to shame the wise and the strong. Those children posed many unanswerable questions… Who am I anyway? Why have I been so priviledged? Why is my head the size it should be instead of larger than my entire body? Why does my mind work correctly? Why have I not been tied to a bed because I might hurt myself? Why am I not lying there waiting for the Americans to come and sing to me and play with me and sit in a circle and clap their hands with me? Why, God, have You not chosen this life for me? The only answer that comes to my mind is because that’s what He wills.

It saddens me to know that when I return to the states eventually I will process each memory into the recesses of my mind and heart. I will forget the sugar cane villagers and orphans. I will forget Antania, Nairoby, Jeffrey, and my many amigos and amigas. My blessings will become common place. The Dominicans will be captured in a photo album to collect dust throughout the years. I will have dealt with all my emotions and I won’t be numb anymore.

However, when I step out of the airplane onto my beautiful, blessed country’s soil, the villagers will still be here. The orphans will still be here. My amigas and amigos will still be here. The poverty, the trash, the skinny animals, the fly-infested fruit stands, the lack of fresh water, the power outages, the stench, the chaos, the need of Christ will all still be here. Lord God, please use what I have experienced! Please help me to share and challenge others to come and see for themselves! Lord God, please don’t ever let me forget!